I’ve said before that if I’m going to get the best out of this metabolic fitness program that it would be better if I could… avoid being me for the duration.  I was not wrong.

Okay.  I admit that I am not a “group discussion” kind of guy.  I like to just step in and get things done.  I don’t want to sit around and dither about it endlessly.  So it’s possible that I may just be indisposed to the idea of group, but for crying out loud…

Tonight’s topic was nutrition… the nuts and bolts of the “mediterranean lifestyle”.  Very useful and a lot of information dispensed.  Everything good so far, right?  But then they started with the questions.  And oh the questions…

I understand the need to make these changes, but I want to eat at McDonalds’ all the freaking time, is that okay?

This says I should drink 6-8 ounces of milk.  I like to drink 24-32 ounces, that’s okay isn’t it?

I have a bizarre medical condition that only applies to me and directly prevents me from following this plan, I know you said to make an appointment with you to discuss the alternatives, but can we stop the class and blather on for 15 minutes about my needs while everyone else slowly goes mad?

You get the idea.  It is, of course, patently uncool to discuss things that go on inside the class outside of the class (whatever stupid thing is said in group, stays in group), so I’ll put a moratorium on such activity in the future, but come on, people.

The weird thing is, if I was just standing around the gym, or at work or some similar situation and someone asked me any of those questions, I’d have been happy to discuss them in great depth… even the stupid ones.  After all, if you don’t know something, you ask, right?  I mean what is this site for if not to get the discussion going, but somehow in the group environment… yeesh…

But again, that’s probably just a problem with me.

So details about the program.  The class is split into two groups, Maize and Blue.  The Maize group exercises for the first 45 minutes and the Blue group has lecture first.  Then we switch.  I am, of course, in the Maize group, so… I sweat a lot when I work out.  I’ll just apologize to the group now…  I hope it doesn’t distract from your learning experience.

After analyzing my blood work, eating habits, etc, they gave me a list of things that I personally need to work on in order to migrate to the Med Lifestyle.  They are:

  1. Include red meat no more than 1-2 times for week.  Oh thank God!  That seems much more reasonable than that once a month figure.
  2. Choose small portions of lean meat.  You can have the red meat, but only 3 ounces… yikes!
  3. Include at least 10 ounces of fish per week.  And for the record, they mean that to be in 3 different servings!  Small portions.
  4. Include at least 4 servings of vegetables a day. Fair enough.
  5. Include at least 3 servings of fruit a day.  Will do.
  6. Include legumes most days.  Beans, beans and more beans!
  7. Choose whole grains and whole grain products.  Finally an excuse to perfect that irish brown bread recipe… in roll form apparently to keep the serving small.
  8. Limit portion sizes in order to reach and maintain a healthy weight.   Okay…

So nothing earth shattering there, but the key areas they want me to focus on… and everyone’s list was different, so it wasn’t just “generic chart #17”.

Lot’s of things to think about meal plan-wise, and I’ll go into more detail over the next few days as I digest the data dump, but it was interesting.  Nerve-grating at times, but interesting.

Heart Rate chart for gym workout.

I did workout before the class.  I arrived and stepped up to my elliptical for my usual 30-minute lung buster only to discover that tragedy had occurred.  My elliptical was broken!!!!  Oh the horror!  I believe I mentioned before that they have 3 ellipticals, but only the one I use can go up to a 28 inch stride and the other two… are just wrong.  Tiny strides that are just biomechanically… wrong.  I kid you not after about 30 seconds of the other two, and I want to get off.  Not because my muscles or sore or that my lungs are a-busting but because the stride is just off.  It’s like my hips are trying to pull themselves out of my body… wrong, wrong, wrong.  So I did a five minute warm-up and headed over to the bike for 30 minutes of sprints.  That was nice.  The last few minutes were sheer will power, but I made it.  After that I did strength training and my shoulder and I took a moment to discuss what my rotator cuff would and would not do.  We came to an understanding and I completed my reps.  When I finished that I needed to find something else aerobic to do, and the only real options were treadmills, stair climbers and seated stair climbers.

I stopped doing the treadmill because of the pain it causes around my implant, but the standing stair climber was in use and the seated stair climber was unlikely to get my heart rate up, so I hopped on the treadmill…

…but rather than the usual group of treadmills, I hopped on one of the end treadmills.  They’re different than the rest…. they are wonderful!!!!  It does the same speeds and inclines, but it’s like the walking bed is… suspended, as you walk or run, you’re not beating the crap out of your feet on rollers like the other ones.  After my session, my implant felt fine, my feet were not burning and my toes were not numb.  It was… nice… boring as all treadmills are, but nice.

After that, I went outside to cool down and enjoy and apple before switching into cleaner clothes and stepping into class… which brings us back to where we were, so I’ll bid you good night.