So, Monday’s weigh-in yields another two pounds which puts me at an even 90 pounds lost.  I am just so close to 100!  I mean… can you feel it?!?  It is freakin’ AWESOME!  I was seriously beginning to doubt I’d get here, but man, the scale just keeps tipping down.

Since 90 is such a nice round number, it started me thinking about the other numbers associated with this journey.  I must admit that while I’d done the math before, I didn’t really have a realistic grasp of the amount of weight I had to lose.  I’ve been focusing on this first 100 pounds, but hadn’t really looked too carefully beyond.  To be fair, when you let yourself get as big as I did, it just seems so… daunting… impossible.  I’d made headway before, and I always failed.  It must be impossible, right?  I mean… I’m big… I put the morbid in morbidly obese.  It can’t be done…

…but the thing is, it can… I can.  I can lose weight, and it seems, if you stick with it, you can have great success.  One of our very own readers is proof of that and was the inspiration I needed to get back into the grind and start this process again… for good this time…

…and it hasn’t been easy.  I turn to food when I’m over-stressed or angry or upset.  Bad habit.  I turn to food when I’m bored.  Bad habit.  I LIKE food.  Not a bad habit, but balance in all things, buddy…

…but you know, it hasn’t really been hard, either.  I’m not suffering.  I’m not starving myself.  I’m just trying to drive some new behavioral patterns into this thick skull of mine…

So back to the numbers.  100 pounds… it’s close.  I can taste it.  I have to admit, though, that I’ve had a hard time focusing on after the 100 pounds.  It seems like a long, long journey.  Believe it our not, every time I did think about it, I would dismiss the thoughts with the idea that I had another 2-300 pounds to lose.  Heck, I wrote just a few comics ago, that I had about 200 pounds to go.  In fact, I was discussing this with a co-worker on Monday, and I actually said these words:

The first 100 pounds will be gone soon.  Isn’t that great.  Of course I still have to repeat this about three more times.

Uhm… no.  Not so much.  As the words came tumbling out of my mouth, I realized how completely stupid that was… and I imagine just a wee bit self-sabotaging.  I then stopped and ran through the numbers again… out loud… and I swear to you I was giddy at the time.  Ann Marie (the coworker) was decidedly amused at my schoolboy-like behavior…

So… the numbers.  I started at 468 pounds.  That’s pretty freaking big.  I knew that number.  I was very aware of that number.  I think about that number every day.  But really, where do I hope to go from there?  What’s the end game?  What is my target.  Well, when I graduated high school, I looked like this:

Now that's a real "class" picture!

I know what you’re thinking.  Daaaaaaaaaang, that’s one handsome group of fellows.  I need to get me some of that!  Well, you can’t.  We’re all taken… well… maybe not Al… he kinda fell off the face of the earth.  But in any case, there I am in all of my suspendery glory and weighing in at 185 pounds.  I am one skinny fellow.  So, I must want to go back to 185 pounds, right?

No, probably not.  There are a few complications.  First, I’m shooting for a more muscular build by the time this is done.  My legs are already there, but more shoulder, more arms and… you know… abs would be nice… not freaky bowflex commercial abs or Ryan Reynolds weird stomach muscles abs, but abs none-the less, and muscle has mass.  Second, there will be a bit more skin than is entirely necessary when I get to an appropriate body fat level which, as I’m now in my 40’s, will take a while to… dissipate.  If I aim for 185, I will have gone to far.  So, I’m shooting for 225, and as I write this, that is only 153 pounds away.  I’ve already lost 90, so how hard can that be, right?

Incredibly hard, but not impossibly.  This is going to happen.

This is also a very poorly written entry.  It was very eloquent in my head, but is mostly babbling here.  The key points are that it’s good to keep the actual numbers in mind so that you can recognize progress as it happens.  I am feeling incredibly upbeat about this whole process at the moment, and of course, since dieting seems to be an inherently manic-depressive process (for me at least), I’m sure in a few days, I’ll be wallowing in the futility of it all, but I’ll remember to look at those numbers.  I’ll remember that I’m not going to lose weight some day.  I’m losing the weight right now!

So, let’s run the numbers…

Monday Food Intake:

  • Breakfast – granola and banana – 260 calories
  • Lunch – Turkey sammich – 230 calories
  • Afternoon snack – cheese crackers – 180 calories
  • Dinner – Whole Wheat Spaghetti with meat sauce – 800 calories
  • Dessert – Watermelon – 180 calories
  • Evening snack 2 – Fudgicle – 100 calories
1850 calories total.
So… not much to say there.  I remembered to feed myself throughout the day which is a good thing.  The Ronzoni Whole Wheat pasta… was not a good thing.  It was a bad thing.  A very, very bad thing.  A mushy, flavorless, couldn’t hold it’s shape, tasted like the box it came in sort of bad thing.  I didn’t care for it.  The watermelon helped though.
Tuesday Food Intake:
  • Breakfast – granola bar – 160 calories
  • Lunch – Turkey Sammich – 230 calories
  • Afternoon Snack – Protein drink – 160 calories
  • Afternoon snack 2 – Cheese Crackers – 180 calories
  • Afternoon snack 3 – Pretzel M&Ms – 180 calories
  • Dinner – Chicken habanero and monterey jack sausages with corn on the cob and salad – 800 calories
  • Evening snack 1 – Fudgicle – 100 calories
  • Evening snack 2 – Fiber bar – 80 calories
1890 calories total.  Can you tell I was peckish this evening?  The fiber bar is just an attempt to quell the growling stomach.  Seems to be working.
Okay… later… Got to go watch the pilot for the new Zoey D show…